and i do these things to avoid the thought and i avoid the thought because that thought makes up my everything. i try to be brave (undaunted or perhaps lionhearted) and i try to move on but i'm sharing my dozen bottles of honesty by saying the pain (torment and torture) has not left me. i wish it would and i know it should but i can't seem to make it happen because she was my everything. and i know this makes me frail and i know this makes me weak (wasted or wavering) and i know i have no excuse. i sparked flames in my heart to watch everything turn to dust (soot and earth) so i'll allow myself the bitterness. my clothes never fit right and i'm sure i'm not your type but it doesn't really matter because i could (should or will never) let myself trust what your freckles (between your eyes and just above your nose) promise, stated or otherwise. living well is the sweetest revenge but a lie of my wellness makes things worse. i'm twenty something, wasted, and shirtless (bare-skinned or blatant) and as i've said before she's made me feel worthless but i know i'll be okay because i am okay but i'm not okay because i lost my everything. but for fuck sakes i'm positive (definite and certain) i'd forget it all for you.
